(Picture purely for aesthetics. This came home in Farrell's backpack and is now framed on my wall.)
We are nearly halfway through our foster/adoption class (5 weeks left) and have met with our social worker twice. We met as a couple with her three weeks ago and today she met with me individually and our kids for interviews. Farrell thought he was going to be on the news (as that was the only context he had ever heard the word interview used) and was disappointed to find out it was only a face to face interview with notes taken for our home study. Ryan will complete his "solo" interview in two weeks and then we will have one final interview and competency evaluation together, along with a walkthrough of our house to make sure we have the right fire extinguishers and all that jazz.
During the interviews we have answered questions about our childhood including; relationship status with parents and siblings growing up and currently, childhood experiences whether negative or positive, how we deal with grief, how we discipline our kids, how we were disciplined as kids, our personality types and more. The kids were asked basic, age appropriate questions similar to ours. I was allowed to be in the room and listen to their answers. Kennedy's answers were totally predictable as I figured they would be. She is pretty textbook! The boys surprised me a little. Nolan would only nod his head to answer until Farrell came in the room and then he felt comfortable enough to start up random chatter about his "sull" (school), his tree house and how he currently plays on a t-ball team (which he does not actually). I did my best to contain my laughter. All of the kids were asked what they most enjoyed doing with Ryan and I separately. Kennedy said she liked "helping mom in the kitchen," (SCORE!!! If I teach them one thing in life other than to love Jesus, it will be how to cook!). She said Lego time with Ryan, oh, and video games as he has instilled a love of video games in all of the kids. Separately, the boys both said their favorite thing to do with me was cuddle. I would have never guessed that would come out! I figured they would say wrestle time, swinging together or playing hide and seek. Farrell said specifically, "cuddling." Nolan mumbled, "hug her." Okay, I'll take that! I do love that time with my boys.
I found out today that our home study will not be able to be completed until we have finished the required Spaulding Class (12 hour class for those wanting to adopt from foster care). So originally thought we could start pursing a child to adopt in mid-June or so, but it will be later than that as we will have to wait until after the next Spaulding class is offered and we take it. I believe they are offered four times a year, so we should find out soon when the next session is. So if it is not offered until the fall (I am just throwing that out there) then we could not search or inquire until then or later.
Throughout the course of our classes, at this very point, we have decided as a couple that we only want to pursue adoption. Originally this was what we wanted, but then became open to the idea of fostering. Now we are back to just wanting to adopt and not foster with the hope of adopting. We continue to hear that this is not ideal, is extremely difficult, and the children that are available to adopt are mainly because their foster families do not want to adopt them because they are so challenging. This may or may not be the case in every situation. While we may be then choosing to search a population of kids that are considered "more challenging," we believe God is bigger than that stigma and He will be the one to work His supernatural power to help this child heal anyways and we aren't afraid of that. Will our thoughts change on this? Maybe, if God changes our perspective. But for now this is where we are.
I will keep you all posted on when we will be able to take the Spaulding class. But for now, our STARS class ends on May 28th!
I must give a public thank you to those helping us watch our kids while we take our classes; Nana (my mom), Papa (my dad) and KK (my step-mom), Ryan's parent's; Mimi and Poppy and Uncle Chris and Aunt Meghan (my brother and SIL)! We couldn't do this without all the support! My kids have a good village!
And if I can tug on your heart strings, please take a look at the most recent AFCARS report (link below). This report shows the most recent statistics on the number kids in U.S. foster care, adoptions through the foster system, gender/race/age/duration in foster care stats, etc. "Any fool can know. The point is to understand." ~Albert Einstein. What might your sympathetic understanding push you to do?
https://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/afcarsreport21.pdf
~ Stepping off soap box now:)
We are nearly halfway through our foster/adoption class (5 weeks left) and have met with our social worker twice. We met as a couple with her three weeks ago and today she met with me individually and our kids for interviews. Farrell thought he was going to be on the news (as that was the only context he had ever heard the word interview used) and was disappointed to find out it was only a face to face interview with notes taken for our home study. Ryan will complete his "solo" interview in two weeks and then we will have one final interview and competency evaluation together, along with a walkthrough of our house to make sure we have the right fire extinguishers and all that jazz.
During the interviews we have answered questions about our childhood including; relationship status with parents and siblings growing up and currently, childhood experiences whether negative or positive, how we deal with grief, how we discipline our kids, how we were disciplined as kids, our personality types and more. The kids were asked basic, age appropriate questions similar to ours. I was allowed to be in the room and listen to their answers. Kennedy's answers were totally predictable as I figured they would be. She is pretty textbook! The boys surprised me a little. Nolan would only nod his head to answer until Farrell came in the room and then he felt comfortable enough to start up random chatter about his "sull" (school), his tree house and how he currently plays on a t-ball team (which he does not actually). I did my best to contain my laughter. All of the kids were asked what they most enjoyed doing with Ryan and I separately. Kennedy said she liked "helping mom in the kitchen," (SCORE!!! If I teach them one thing in life other than to love Jesus, it will be how to cook!). She said Lego time with Ryan, oh, and video games as he has instilled a love of video games in all of the kids. Separately, the boys both said their favorite thing to do with me was cuddle. I would have never guessed that would come out! I figured they would say wrestle time, swinging together or playing hide and seek. Farrell said specifically, "cuddling." Nolan mumbled, "hug her." Okay, I'll take that! I do love that time with my boys.
I found out today that our home study will not be able to be completed until we have finished the required Spaulding Class (12 hour class for those wanting to adopt from foster care). So originally thought we could start pursing a child to adopt in mid-June or so, but it will be later than that as we will have to wait until after the next Spaulding class is offered and we take it. I believe they are offered four times a year, so we should find out soon when the next session is. So if it is not offered until the fall (I am just throwing that out there) then we could not search or inquire until then or later.
Throughout the course of our classes, at this very point, we have decided as a couple that we only want to pursue adoption. Originally this was what we wanted, but then became open to the idea of fostering. Now we are back to just wanting to adopt and not foster with the hope of adopting. We continue to hear that this is not ideal, is extremely difficult, and the children that are available to adopt are mainly because their foster families do not want to adopt them because they are so challenging. This may or may not be the case in every situation. While we may be then choosing to search a population of kids that are considered "more challenging," we believe God is bigger than that stigma and He will be the one to work His supernatural power to help this child heal anyways and we aren't afraid of that. Will our thoughts change on this? Maybe, if God changes our perspective. But for now this is where we are.
I will keep you all posted on when we will be able to take the Spaulding class. But for now, our STARS class ends on May 28th!
I must give a public thank you to those helping us watch our kids while we take our classes; Nana (my mom), Papa (my dad) and KK (my step-mom), Ryan's parent's; Mimi and Poppy and Uncle Chris and Aunt Meghan (my brother and SIL)! We couldn't do this without all the support! My kids have a good village!
And if I can tug on your heart strings, please take a look at the most recent AFCARS report (link below). This report shows the most recent statistics on the number kids in U.S. foster care, adoptions through the foster system, gender/race/age/duration in foster care stats, etc. "Any fool can know. The point is to understand." ~Albert Einstein. What might your sympathetic understanding push you to do?
https://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/afcarsreport21.pdf
~ Stepping off soap box now:)