We are finished with STARS and are onto Spaulding! Spaulding is the final adoption class that started today. We had to drive to Sedalia for this all day class and have the last and final class in two weeks. Thanks to my mom and sister, my kids were spoiled rotten and had a blast while we attended class.
We meet with our social worker this week and then will meet with her one final time after our last Spaulding class. She estimated that our home study should be complete by mid July. It will take her a week or two to write it and then her supervisor has to approve it and then we will also get a chance to look it over, assist her in making any changes we feel should be included or removed in order to best describe our family and then sign off on it. Then we can send it to the case worker/s or the kiddos we are interested in adopting.
A little more than a month ago, Ryan shared with me that he was looking at some kids profiles online while on his lunch break at work. I didn't think much of it until he said he looked at a sibling group. Whaa?? I thought he was joking. But he wasn't. He was quite serious about it and thought they were adorable. I still didn't take him seriously. We were both quite at peace only planning to adopt ONE girl. And this Ryan guy, well, he's the guy that won't let me get a guinea pig or chickens or other random creatures I try to talk him into. Mom? Dad? Does this take you back to my childhood? I was fortunate enough to get two dogs and get to breed them, but I am pushing my luck for much else. So, you can imagine my shock when I thought for a moment he may allow me to have two more kids! I freaked him out a bit once he told me, because I got so excited and was nearly yelling in his face (in a nice way) about the possibility of adopting more than one. He quickly told me to calm down, that he was just looking. But that was it. The idea was planted.
I was dying inside and wanted to share with some other human for a couple weeks, but he made me promise not to tell. He really was nervous even thinking about this concept. Ryan and I sat on the idea and discussed it day after day. We continued to talk about it, think about it, and pray about it. We had been looking up videos online about kids is foster care /or adoption through the foster system to show our own kids to aid in our discussions about what life may be like after we adopt for us and their new sibling. I found this gem which I highly recommend watching. It's 12 minutes and may make you cry, but it's beautifully done and gives a glimpse of what a child in state care may go through. Here is the link to the video ReMoved. I watched it, showed it to Ryan and decided Kennedy was mature enough to watch it. So I showed it to her. I could see the pained look on her face as she watched it. We talked a lot about it. But what lit a fire underneath me was what Kennedy said right after viewing it. "If she has a brother, we should adopt him too." This was with no preface or discussion with her about adopting a sister plus one. I said nothing but, "huh."
The next day we casually mentioned it to our kids to get their reaction. Farrell lit up the most. But they were all on board.
Ryan and I were still unsure, and slightly wigged out that we may be cray cray.
I texted Ryan the following morning:
Me: 7 is the number of perfection
Him: Yeah.
Me: Are you picking up what I am putting down?
(**I was getting impatient, almost like when you are trying to mouth something secretive, or pass an eye rolling message to your spouse across a populated dinner table and he goes, "What Megan?" And you want to jab him with your fork.**)
Me (patiently, but like, come on man!): We are a family of 5.
No response for a few minutes.
Me (AGAIN!): 5 + 2 = 7
Him: Ahhhh, yeah!
The planted seed had sprouted. And we couldn't deny it.
You must understand, we have surrounded ourselves among a new community of people that have different ideas about what family is. Many couples in our classes currently have 2, 3 and 4 biological kids and are fostering /or adopting on top of this. This is a wild idea for much of our society to understand. It seems like it should only be okay to have this many kids if you live in a mansion and every child has their own room, but the past few months our perspective has changed. Our house is not huge, and we would temporarily have 3 kids in one room until we can finish off our walk up attic. Have children survived and thrived in far worse living conditions? Absolutely. Are we crazy? More than likely yes. Are we afraid of what people will think of us? Not one bit. God has stretched us to being open to this, just like he has stretched us to be open to adopting in the first place. One of the instructors of our class has fostered many kids, and has adopted 6 of those fostered kids and currently has 8 kids in her house. She drives a huge passenger van. Her neighbors turned her into the city in which they lived stating she ran an unlicensed in home day care. But to hear her share about loving those kids and giving them a place to call home helped inspire us among many other stories.
In the Bible, seven is the number of perfection/completion by the way. If you believe in that! We certainly do. Not that a family composed of more or less than seven is not complete, but it was the icing on the cake for us with this decision. Might we still only adopt one? Maybe. But we may come home with two. Don't judge. And please don't turn us into the city for running an unlicensed home day care.
More deets and pics to come, but for now here is some visual snackage.
We meet with our social worker this week and then will meet with her one final time after our last Spaulding class. She estimated that our home study should be complete by mid July. It will take her a week or two to write it and then her supervisor has to approve it and then we will also get a chance to look it over, assist her in making any changes we feel should be included or removed in order to best describe our family and then sign off on it. Then we can send it to the case worker/s or the kiddos we are interested in adopting.
A little more than a month ago, Ryan shared with me that he was looking at some kids profiles online while on his lunch break at work. I didn't think much of it until he said he looked at a sibling group. Whaa?? I thought he was joking. But he wasn't. He was quite serious about it and thought they were adorable. I still didn't take him seriously. We were both quite at peace only planning to adopt ONE girl. And this Ryan guy, well, he's the guy that won't let me get a guinea pig or chickens or other random creatures I try to talk him into. Mom? Dad? Does this take you back to my childhood? I was fortunate enough to get two dogs and get to breed them, but I am pushing my luck for much else. So, you can imagine my shock when I thought for a moment he may allow me to have two more kids! I freaked him out a bit once he told me, because I got so excited and was nearly yelling in his face (in a nice way) about the possibility of adopting more than one. He quickly told me to calm down, that he was just looking. But that was it. The idea was planted.
I was dying inside and wanted to share with some other human for a couple weeks, but he made me promise not to tell. He really was nervous even thinking about this concept. Ryan and I sat on the idea and discussed it day after day. We continued to talk about it, think about it, and pray about it. We had been looking up videos online about kids is foster care /or adoption through the foster system to show our own kids to aid in our discussions about what life may be like after we adopt for us and their new sibling. I found this gem which I highly recommend watching. It's 12 minutes and may make you cry, but it's beautifully done and gives a glimpse of what a child in state care may go through. Here is the link to the video ReMoved. I watched it, showed it to Ryan and decided Kennedy was mature enough to watch it. So I showed it to her. I could see the pained look on her face as she watched it. We talked a lot about it. But what lit a fire underneath me was what Kennedy said right after viewing it. "If she has a brother, we should adopt him too." This was with no preface or discussion with her about adopting a sister plus one. I said nothing but, "huh."
The next day we casually mentioned it to our kids to get their reaction. Farrell lit up the most. But they were all on board.
Ryan and I were still unsure, and slightly wigged out that we may be cray cray.
I texted Ryan the following morning:
Me: 7 is the number of perfection
Him: Yeah.
Me: Are you picking up what I am putting down?
(**I was getting impatient, almost like when you are trying to mouth something secretive, or pass an eye rolling message to your spouse across a populated dinner table and he goes, "What Megan?" And you want to jab him with your fork.**)
Me (patiently, but like, come on man!): We are a family of 5.
No response for a few minutes.
Me (AGAIN!): 5 + 2 = 7
Him: Ahhhh, yeah!
The planted seed had sprouted. And we couldn't deny it.
You must understand, we have surrounded ourselves among a new community of people that have different ideas about what family is. Many couples in our classes currently have 2, 3 and 4 biological kids and are fostering /or adopting on top of this. This is a wild idea for much of our society to understand. It seems like it should only be okay to have this many kids if you live in a mansion and every child has their own room, but the past few months our perspective has changed. Our house is not huge, and we would temporarily have 3 kids in one room until we can finish off our walk up attic. Have children survived and thrived in far worse living conditions? Absolutely. Are we crazy? More than likely yes. Are we afraid of what people will think of us? Not one bit. God has stretched us to being open to this, just like he has stretched us to be open to adopting in the first place. One of the instructors of our class has fostered many kids, and has adopted 6 of those fostered kids and currently has 8 kids in her house. She drives a huge passenger van. Her neighbors turned her into the city in which they lived stating she ran an unlicensed in home day care. But to hear her share about loving those kids and giving them a place to call home helped inspire us among many other stories.
In the Bible, seven is the number of perfection/completion by the way. If you believe in that! We certainly do. Not that a family composed of more or less than seven is not complete, but it was the icing on the cake for us with this decision. Might we still only adopt one? Maybe. But we may come home with two. Don't judge. And please don't turn us into the city for running an unlicensed home day care.
More deets and pics to come, but for now here is some visual snackage.