sWell, put us in the crazy category if you haven't already. Maybe even the insane category. We plan to be a family of 8 soon!
We continue to have ups and downs with our new daughter, as we learn how to be better parents and do our best to love unconditionally and try to be the most fit home for her. There has been a lot of progress and we feel more connected as a family. She considers us her mom and dad and can't wait to officially become a McGaughey.
This past October, we met two other kids at our children's elementary school. From the time we met these two kids, there was an immediate connection between us and them, and them and our children. We took our foster class with their foster parents (at the time). We saw them often at school events and whenever I would eat lunch with my kids at school. We also had some play dates with them and even became respite providers just to be able to watch them overnight if their foster parents needed a break. They stayed the night with us on NYE. The kids played well together.
The couple we knew that was caring for them was not able to keep them after a number of months. We asked them on a few occasions if they planned to adopt them if it came to that, always thinking we wanted to pursue adopting them otherwise. We thought this even before learning about our new daughter that is living with us. Months went by and in April, we found out they would be leaving our friend's house and moving 2+ hours away to another home. Ryan and I decided quickly we would see if they could live with us, that way they wouldn't have to change schools of therapists, etc. I called their case worker twice and emailed her twice with no response. I saw the girl on her last day at my kid's school in April and gave her a huge hug and told her I loved her and that God has a plan for her. She told me the name of the woman that they were moving in with. Kennedy cried later that night as they were good friends and she would miss her terribly.
We were frustrated again by the system and the lack of communication with their social worker, but we trusted God was in control and we're at peace with that. Ryan insisted we tell our new daughter's case worker, and our licensing worker the situation to see if they could find them. We did. No luck.
Last month, Ryan and I decided to try to find the contact info of the foster family that had the kids. I was fairly sure I remembered her name. I found who I thought she was online and emailed her. She wrote back a day later and said she had them. We emailed back and forth a few times and I then asked her if she and her husband planned to adopt them. She said they could not adopt them. She took them in thinking they would be shortly reunifying with their mom. Little did she know that moving towards terminating parental rights (TPR) was in the plans for them, until after they moved in. Once I told her we tried to get the kids in April and still would love the chance for them to live with us with hopes of adopting them, she immediately contacted their case worker. So we all came up with the plan that they would move in with us this summer before school starts in the fall.
Oh, and btw... I never mentioned to ANY of the kids (my kids or these kids) that we were trying to have them move in with us at any point and avoiding even casually mentioning it since it was only a possibility. Kennedy gave me a letter that the girl had written to her on her last day at her school. Her P.S. said, "I wish I could live with you guys."
So here we are now, having spent a weekend with this new sibling group in our home this past weekend with an official move in date in mid July. They will get to spend the Fourth of July weekend with us and meet family! We love these kids and couldn't be happier.
In the past month as all of this has fallen into place, we have seen God provide so much for our growing family... a new vehicle that seats 8 (kudos to Curtis Walls at Jack Ellena Honda in Lawrence who gave us an AMAZING deal on a great Honda Odyssey @ www.jackellenahonda.com ), allowing a way for us to remodel our home in preparation for all these kids, and given us wonderful family/emotional support in so many other ways. We move forward confidently in this next step although we have a ton of unanswered questions and concerns. I do feel confident that 6 will be our max though! There have been crazier things, right?
While we can't adopt every child, we do not believe it's a mistake or just coincidence that God placed these kids in our path and seems to be opening a way for them to become ours. I have to be so general with my information, especially with these kids as their primary goal is adoption, but they still have a secondary goal of reunification with the biological family. We trust God for the outcome that will be best for His glory as well as the outcome of these kids. We hope that will be living with us forever, but are willing to take the risk if this does not happen. We should know by the end of this year what will happen. But for now they will move in with us and we will call them our own until we know otherwise. While this may seem like shocking news for many, we have chewed on the idea for many months now and feel very comfortable with having such a large family. We would have never thought God would do this for us, and now that it is happening, we wouldn't want things to be any different.
As I know more details that I can share, I will post! But for now, be prepared to see us out with 6 little ducklings following behind, or running ahead!
We continue to have ups and downs with our new daughter, as we learn how to be better parents and do our best to love unconditionally and try to be the most fit home for her. There has been a lot of progress and we feel more connected as a family. She considers us her mom and dad and can't wait to officially become a McGaughey.
This past October, we met two other kids at our children's elementary school. From the time we met these two kids, there was an immediate connection between us and them, and them and our children. We took our foster class with their foster parents (at the time). We saw them often at school events and whenever I would eat lunch with my kids at school. We also had some play dates with them and even became respite providers just to be able to watch them overnight if their foster parents needed a break. They stayed the night with us on NYE. The kids played well together.
The couple we knew that was caring for them was not able to keep them after a number of months. We asked them on a few occasions if they planned to adopt them if it came to that, always thinking we wanted to pursue adopting them otherwise. We thought this even before learning about our new daughter that is living with us. Months went by and in April, we found out they would be leaving our friend's house and moving 2+ hours away to another home. Ryan and I decided quickly we would see if they could live with us, that way they wouldn't have to change schools of therapists, etc. I called their case worker twice and emailed her twice with no response. I saw the girl on her last day at my kid's school in April and gave her a huge hug and told her I loved her and that God has a plan for her. She told me the name of the woman that they were moving in with. Kennedy cried later that night as they were good friends and she would miss her terribly.
We were frustrated again by the system and the lack of communication with their social worker, but we trusted God was in control and we're at peace with that. Ryan insisted we tell our new daughter's case worker, and our licensing worker the situation to see if they could find them. We did. No luck.
Last month, Ryan and I decided to try to find the contact info of the foster family that had the kids. I was fairly sure I remembered her name. I found who I thought she was online and emailed her. She wrote back a day later and said she had them. We emailed back and forth a few times and I then asked her if she and her husband planned to adopt them. She said they could not adopt them. She took them in thinking they would be shortly reunifying with their mom. Little did she know that moving towards terminating parental rights (TPR) was in the plans for them, until after they moved in. Once I told her we tried to get the kids in April and still would love the chance for them to live with us with hopes of adopting them, she immediately contacted their case worker. So we all came up with the plan that they would move in with us this summer before school starts in the fall.
Oh, and btw... I never mentioned to ANY of the kids (my kids or these kids) that we were trying to have them move in with us at any point and avoiding even casually mentioning it since it was only a possibility. Kennedy gave me a letter that the girl had written to her on her last day at her school. Her P.S. said, "I wish I could live with you guys."
So here we are now, having spent a weekend with this new sibling group in our home this past weekend with an official move in date in mid July. They will get to spend the Fourth of July weekend with us and meet family! We love these kids and couldn't be happier.
In the past month as all of this has fallen into place, we have seen God provide so much for our growing family... a new vehicle that seats 8 (kudos to Curtis Walls at Jack Ellena Honda in Lawrence who gave us an AMAZING deal on a great Honda Odyssey @ www.jackellenahonda.com ), allowing a way for us to remodel our home in preparation for all these kids, and given us wonderful family/emotional support in so many other ways. We move forward confidently in this next step although we have a ton of unanswered questions and concerns. I do feel confident that 6 will be our max though! There have been crazier things, right?
While we can't adopt every child, we do not believe it's a mistake or just coincidence that God placed these kids in our path and seems to be opening a way for them to become ours. I have to be so general with my information, especially with these kids as their primary goal is adoption, but they still have a secondary goal of reunification with the biological family. We trust God for the outcome that will be best for His glory as well as the outcome of these kids. We hope that will be living with us forever, but are willing to take the risk if this does not happen. We should know by the end of this year what will happen. But for now they will move in with us and we will call them our own until we know otherwise. While this may seem like shocking news for many, we have chewed on the idea for many months now and feel very comfortable with having such a large family. We would have never thought God would do this for us, and now that it is happening, we wouldn't want things to be any different.
As I know more details that I can share, I will post! But for now, be prepared to see us out with 6 little ducklings following behind, or running ahead!