I guess an update is due after the initial post 3 months ago. I have been asked a number of times. It just isn't all that exciting to make an official update with nothing much for us has been updated. Regardless of the fact that not much has changed with our specific decision and process to adopt, this month is a special month for adoption. It is National Adoption Month. Prepare yourself for this next fact, straight from adoptuskids.org, "Each year more than 20,000 children age out of the foster care without being adopted. Today there are 104,000 children in foster care waiting to be adopted ranging in age from less than a year old to 21." This is a tough pill to swallow when you really think about it. So many kids are getting old enough to still need parental support, but yet they never get legit parental relationships and so they become adults never having real parents. So sad!! So many kids are waiting an hoping to find forever parents and families, including our daughter.
Here we are 3 months after diving in and making our decision to adopt (through the foster system) and we are no further along in the process than we were on that day. Unfortunately, our state of Missouri does not have enough social workers in place within their current protocol, specifically in our NW area of Missouri, to manage the case loads of initiating, completing and maintaining home studies for families wanting to foster or adopt. So since we initially showed interest in adopting, we have essentially been on a wait list along with many other families in order to even begin the process we need to complete in order to adopt. This process is two-fold, and includes completing a home study, in which a licensed social worker comes into your home for multiple visits and assesses your families' readiness for fostering /or adopting, making sure you are not a creeper, and assisting you in the process and the intense paperwork (or so I have heard). In addition to the home study, you must complete approximately 30 hours of classes to foster, and an additional 10 hours of classes to adopt through the foster care system. The hope in Missouri is to complete both of these processes within 90-120 days. We hope - hope, hope, hope! - that by January we can at least start this process. This is when we have been told the next class will start along with the home studies, although families that are willing to foster elementary aged kids, and particularly sibling groups will be first on the list to go through the class. So since we are not willing to foster sibling groups, we don't know that we will even be able to get in. We are low family on the totem pole, for the foster care layman.
Initially we only wanted to adopt (and girl, between the ages of 4-9ish). The number listed in my first paragraph of 104,000 kiddos in foster care that are available for adoption, this is the number that motivated us to solely seek adoption through the foster care system. The thought of fostering a child and falling in love with that child, all the while knowing there will be an approximately 50% chance this child will go back with her family seems heart wrenching and more desirable to avoid altogether. However, since then we have been enticed to at least be open to the idea of fostering. We have been told this is likely our best chance to adopt and also is a huge and immediate need. So for this reason, we have decided we will be open to fostering, of course in hopes of adopting, but also still looking at adoption as well. And when I say adopting, for us I am specifically speaking of adopting a child that has been in foster care long enough and whose family never is able to take their child back, therefore they will become legally available to adopt. How it was explained to us is that approximately 50% of children that go into foster care will return to their families under good conditions - which of course is how it should be in a perfect scenario. Of the other 50% of kids entering foster care, after what can often be many years, 25% of them will be adopted by their foster families. Then the final 25% will be available for adoption for others interested in adopting. But, first thing is first, we must complete our home study and required classes to even be "foster/adoption ready."
So, yeah, we are angry about this, and rightfully so. If you are familiar with the Bible than you have likely heard the verse Ephesians 4:26 (my paraphrase); It's alright to be angry, just don't allow your anger to control you to accomplish evil things. There are things in life that are okay to be angry about. Just because you are a Bible believing Christian /or are a loving, kind person does not mean you can never get angry. It's okay to be angry about injustices in our world. And this topic of our countries' children being put on the back burner because our lack of preparedness, insufficient processes and inability to think outside the box to do better for them is one of them to be angry about! Yeah, that's right, an exclamation mark! And I am angry about it! But I also understand that we live in a broken world and that my job is not to be consumed with the depressing thoughts of how broken it is, but to know that my job is to serve God and love God in everything I do - including the process of waiting through all of this and then stand back and watch what He accomplishes through it all. I know in that, surely there will be awareness that I can hopefully assist in bringing to this topic as well as maybe lighting a fire underneath certain individuals to push for change. Going back to those that read and believe the Bible, we are called to look out for orphans (James 1:26). What that means for you, I don't know specifically, but straight up, we are suppose to help them in their difficulties in life. And with greater than 104,000 of them labeled as being in a difficult place in life, we certainly have a group to start with. Whether that is praying for their safety and security on this earth and eternally, or even diving in like us and choosing to foster or adopt, or even just praying for godly success for those families that are making this decision, you can partake!
Yes, we are angry, but we choose not to play the blame game and instead hone our anger in the right direction and see God's bigger plan for us and others and also hope for positive change! We will wait for God's perfect timing for our daughter to come home to us and at the same time look forward to seeing how He will mold us into more beautiful humans for His sake. From ashes to beauty, We covet any prayer in this! Goodbye until next time. with hopefully some jucier deets!
Here we are 3 months after diving in and making our decision to adopt (through the foster system) and we are no further along in the process than we were on that day. Unfortunately, our state of Missouri does not have enough social workers in place within their current protocol, specifically in our NW area of Missouri, to manage the case loads of initiating, completing and maintaining home studies for families wanting to foster or adopt. So since we initially showed interest in adopting, we have essentially been on a wait list along with many other families in order to even begin the process we need to complete in order to adopt. This process is two-fold, and includes completing a home study, in which a licensed social worker comes into your home for multiple visits and assesses your families' readiness for fostering /or adopting, making sure you are not a creeper, and assisting you in the process and the intense paperwork (or so I have heard). In addition to the home study, you must complete approximately 30 hours of classes to foster, and an additional 10 hours of classes to adopt through the foster care system. The hope in Missouri is to complete both of these processes within 90-120 days. We hope - hope, hope, hope! - that by January we can at least start this process. This is when we have been told the next class will start along with the home studies, although families that are willing to foster elementary aged kids, and particularly sibling groups will be first on the list to go through the class. So since we are not willing to foster sibling groups, we don't know that we will even be able to get in. We are low family on the totem pole, for the foster care layman.
Initially we only wanted to adopt (and girl, between the ages of 4-9ish). The number listed in my first paragraph of 104,000 kiddos in foster care that are available for adoption, this is the number that motivated us to solely seek adoption through the foster care system. The thought of fostering a child and falling in love with that child, all the while knowing there will be an approximately 50% chance this child will go back with her family seems heart wrenching and more desirable to avoid altogether. However, since then we have been enticed to at least be open to the idea of fostering. We have been told this is likely our best chance to adopt and also is a huge and immediate need. So for this reason, we have decided we will be open to fostering, of course in hopes of adopting, but also still looking at adoption as well. And when I say adopting, for us I am specifically speaking of adopting a child that has been in foster care long enough and whose family never is able to take their child back, therefore they will become legally available to adopt. How it was explained to us is that approximately 50% of children that go into foster care will return to their families under good conditions - which of course is how it should be in a perfect scenario. Of the other 50% of kids entering foster care, after what can often be many years, 25% of them will be adopted by their foster families. Then the final 25% will be available for adoption for others interested in adopting. But, first thing is first, we must complete our home study and required classes to even be "foster/adoption ready."
So, yeah, we are angry about this, and rightfully so. If you are familiar with the Bible than you have likely heard the verse Ephesians 4:26 (my paraphrase); It's alright to be angry, just don't allow your anger to control you to accomplish evil things. There are things in life that are okay to be angry about. Just because you are a Bible believing Christian /or are a loving, kind person does not mean you can never get angry. It's okay to be angry about injustices in our world. And this topic of our countries' children being put on the back burner because our lack of preparedness, insufficient processes and inability to think outside the box to do better for them is one of them to be angry about! Yeah, that's right, an exclamation mark! And I am angry about it! But I also understand that we live in a broken world and that my job is not to be consumed with the depressing thoughts of how broken it is, but to know that my job is to serve God and love God in everything I do - including the process of waiting through all of this and then stand back and watch what He accomplishes through it all. I know in that, surely there will be awareness that I can hopefully assist in bringing to this topic as well as maybe lighting a fire underneath certain individuals to push for change. Going back to those that read and believe the Bible, we are called to look out for orphans (James 1:26). What that means for you, I don't know specifically, but straight up, we are suppose to help them in their difficulties in life. And with greater than 104,000 of them labeled as being in a difficult place in life, we certainly have a group to start with. Whether that is praying for their safety and security on this earth and eternally, or even diving in like us and choosing to foster or adopt, or even just praying for godly success for those families that are making this decision, you can partake!
Yes, we are angry, but we choose not to play the blame game and instead hone our anger in the right direction and see God's bigger plan for us and others and also hope for positive change! We will wait for God's perfect timing for our daughter to come home to us and at the same time look forward to seeing how He will mold us into more beautiful humans for His sake. From ashes to beauty, We covet any prayer in this! Goodbye until next time. with hopefully some jucier deets!