For those that did not know, our home study was completed a couple weeks ago and other than awaiting a
supervisor signature and Ryan and I having to complete a medication training class online (that was somehow missed among all the thingswe had to do), we were totally finished on our end last week.
Last Thursday, we signed our home study, thus approving it. See picture to the right, of us at Wornall Road Baptist Church, were Missouri Baptist Children's Home (MBCH) office is. We attended our STARS classes and signed our home study. This picture may not seem like a big deal, but for us, since we won't have memories of our new child or children's birth, or their first steps, etc, memories like this one are our big deal and we want to celebrate and document. Memories and photos like this one will be ones we will share with our new child/ren so they know how excited we were to meet them.
Yesterday, we were assigned a licensing worker. Those of you who are familiar with the profession of social work will get a chuckle out of this... I figured the title "social worker," "case worker," "licensing worker" were interchangeable. I spoke multiple times about our "case worker," even asking her when we would get our adoption case worker. I asked one of the supervisors at MBCH last week when we would be assigned our case worker. She seemed confused... and then clarified with an email laugh that we would not be getting a case worker, but a licensing worker. A case worker is the child's worker, as the case is surrounded by the child of course. Duh. Makes sense now. I guess that's when people in hospital world call us dietitians, "dietary," as if we as individuals are adjectives. (Note to self; never call a dietitian, "dietary":) So I am starting to get the adoption lingo down, and am glad. I have stopped asking for a case worker. This adoption business has quite the learning curve!
supervisor signature and Ryan and I having to complete a medication training class online (that was somehow missed among all the thingswe had to do), we were totally finished on our end last week.
Last Thursday, we signed our home study, thus approving it. See picture to the right, of us at Wornall Road Baptist Church, were Missouri Baptist Children's Home (MBCH) office is. We attended our STARS classes and signed our home study. This picture may not seem like a big deal, but for us, since we won't have memories of our new child or children's birth, or their first steps, etc, memories like this one are our big deal and we want to celebrate and document. Memories and photos like this one will be ones we will share with our new child/ren so they know how excited we were to meet them.
Yesterday, we were assigned a licensing worker. Those of you who are familiar with the profession of social work will get a chuckle out of this... I figured the title "social worker," "case worker," "licensing worker" were interchangeable. I spoke multiple times about our "case worker," even asking her when we would get our adoption case worker. I asked one of the supervisors at MBCH last week when we would be assigned our case worker. She seemed confused... and then clarified with an email laugh that we would not be getting a case worker, but a licensing worker. A case worker is the child's worker, as the case is surrounded by the child of course. Duh. Makes sense now. I guess that's when people in hospital world call us dietitians, "dietary," as if we as individuals are adjectives. (Note to self; never call a dietitian, "dietary":) So I am starting to get the adoption lingo down, and am glad. I have stopped asking for a case worker. This adoption business has quite the learning curve!
This picture above is our family life book. There are a couple different kinds of life books. One is the kind that each child in foster care has that is their own. As a foster parent it is a duty (and should be a joy) to make the foster children in your care a life book, with pictures, mementos, stories and memories. There are no formal instructions on how to do this, their life just needs to be documented. Since they don't have stable parents in their lives who would normally do this for them, it is only right that they grow older having images and documentation of their time in foster care. As an adoptive family, a life book is also needed. Ours is about 20 pages and has multiple family and individual photos. We have also included pictures of our house, the school where my kids attend and even our pets. We will show this book to the team of people that will be deciding if we are the right fit for the child/ren we are interested in adopting. Receiving this in the mail after creating it online was another celebration. Like most everything else in the journey, it seemed to take forever! Below are additional pictures from inside the book.
Now that we have everything completed, have a case worker, oops, I mean licensing worker, we are set to search. Like, for realzies search! We can legit inquire about kids. We will be on our licensing workers time line though, as in most situations, she will have to mediate for us and talk with the case workers. Many states prevent potential adoptive parents from communicating with case workers directly. So... the news is that we have officially inquired on two, individual girls from another state (which will remain anonymous at this time). They are not related. They are totally separate inquiries. We are now waiting for our licensing worker to mediate for us. There could be many different things that could happen now. The child's case worker could for any number of reasons decide after reviewing our home study that we are not a good fit for the child, and that would be the end of pursuing that child. For some examples, they could say that because the child we are pursuing has such high needs, that a family with younger, higher needs children would be inappropriate as they would not be able to give the child as much attention as the case worker deems necessary. They could think that the activities and activity level we pursue in life is not a good fit, or that the personalities of our children may clash with the personality of the child. Any number of reasons could stop us before starting. But! If they do think we may be a good fit, they will start communicating back and forth (likely using our licensing worker as a mediator). We would get as much information as is known and also that we think to ask about the child and then after hearing that information, decide to continue to pursue or not. Of course our hope is that one of the two girls we have inquired about will start the process of getting more information about them, but it may not. And it may take hours, days or weeks. I continually am reminded, adoption is a journey, not a moment. Our emotional anxiety is surely building though. Imagine if you were pregnant and went 3 months over your due date... at this point that is where we are. Our patience and anticipation is growing for sure. On this, I will keep you all posted if things progress!
For those of you that know me well, you know books and I never got along well. I am pretty sure I may have completed elementary school with only reading one chapter book. And it WAS the best chapter book ever. "Vampires don't wear polka dots." Give it a ready some time, it was a classic I tell ya. I am just a tad embarrassed to state this fact, but it is what it is. I am not a book worm, and may get through a couple books a year. A few books a year in a good year. But I have been tearing through books about adoption and fostering recently. I have made it through most of these and they are all gems for different reasons. "One Small Boat" is about foster parents that fostered over 120 kids. It gives a great perspective of the feelings and struggles of a foster parent. "Three Little Words" was fantastic! It is a memoir of a woman's experience in 9 years of foster care, experiencing traumatic abuse and neglect even while in care. This author was adopted as an elementary aged child and now is an advocate for adoption and fostering. I wrote this author after I finished this book and guess what? She wrote me back!!! I told her my story and how much I appreciated her sharing hers. I was smiling ear to ear when she responded to me from her personal email! She just wrote another book called "Three More Words" that came out in May and is about her experience as a foster parent of more than 20 children, adopting, and becoming a biological mother as well. She is only 29 years old too, so it's really amazing that she has given so much of her 20's to helping kids. I am currently in "Thriving as an Adoptive Family" which is giving me great insight on the struggles of attachment, sharing information about your adopted child, how to discipline a traumatized child (which in most cases should be very different than disciplining biological children) and much more. I encourage anyone who even has a flicker of a thought about adopting or fostering to grab any one of these books.
I will leave you all with information from is a government adoption website that has a 12 page pdf file that briefly covers the impact of adoption on a child's development, how to communicate about adoption - what to say, what not to say - and other notable things that we dove into in much more detail in all of our classes. This is the best "Adoption for Dummies" or, sorry, less offensively "CliffsNotes on Adoption." A girl like me surely appreciates CliffsNotes, or at least from 6th grade through college I did. I would SO, SO appreciate those that are closest to us to please read over this. Haha, I promise not to quiz you all! But I can turn on a dime, so be prepared. Gaining a child through adoption is not conventional, and knowledge allows for understanding. I would be ever so grateful if those that our new child/ren will be around will have better understanding.
For those of you that know me well, you know books and I never got along well. I am pretty sure I may have completed elementary school with only reading one chapter book. And it WAS the best chapter book ever. "Vampires don't wear polka dots." Give it a ready some time, it was a classic I tell ya. I am just a tad embarrassed to state this fact, but it is what it is. I am not a book worm, and may get through a couple books a year. A few books a year in a good year. But I have been tearing through books about adoption and fostering recently. I have made it through most of these and they are all gems for different reasons. "One Small Boat" is about foster parents that fostered over 120 kids. It gives a great perspective of the feelings and struggles of a foster parent. "Three Little Words" was fantastic! It is a memoir of a woman's experience in 9 years of foster care, experiencing traumatic abuse and neglect even while in care. This author was adopted as an elementary aged child and now is an advocate for adoption and fostering. I wrote this author after I finished this book and guess what? She wrote me back!!! I told her my story and how much I appreciated her sharing hers. I was smiling ear to ear when she responded to me from her personal email! She just wrote another book called "Three More Words" that came out in May and is about her experience as a foster parent of more than 20 children, adopting, and becoming a biological mother as well. She is only 29 years old too, so it's really amazing that she has given so much of her 20's to helping kids. I am currently in "Thriving as an Adoptive Family" which is giving me great insight on the struggles of attachment, sharing information about your adopted child, how to discipline a traumatized child (which in most cases should be very different than disciplining biological children) and much more. I encourage anyone who even has a flicker of a thought about adopting or fostering to grab any one of these books.
I will leave you all with information from is a government adoption website that has a 12 page pdf file that briefly covers the impact of adoption on a child's development, how to communicate about adoption - what to say, what not to say - and other notable things that we dove into in much more detail in all of our classes. This is the best "Adoption for Dummies" or, sorry, less offensively "CliffsNotes on Adoption." A girl like me surely appreciates CliffsNotes, or at least from 6th grade through college I did. I would SO, SO appreciate those that are closest to us to please read over this. Haha, I promise not to quiz you all! But I can turn on a dime, so be prepared. Gaining a child through adoption is not conventional, and knowledge allows for understanding. I would be ever so grateful if those that our new child/ren will be around will have better understanding.